My Journey

                      The Full Story


    I was born September 7th in 1984, I was born so fast and suffered from    nuchal cord and was pronounced dead at birth. My umbilical cord was  wrapped around my neck four times and it caused a compression and I was  not getting any oxygen. The doctors were able to aid me back to life, with the  chance of cerebral palsy. However, I was a healthy baby girl. My father walked  away before birth because of alcoholism and infidelity. I grew up with three  other siblings and I went through so much trauma as a child. My mother  never cared because I was labeled the "cheating baby." She was physically,  mentally, and emotionally abusive and suffered with many illnesses. At the age of six years old I was labeled as a child with Attention Deficit Disorder and Dyslexia. In my early years of life, a kind woman took me to church three days a week that's when found myself as a child of God, and used church as an escape to get out of the disfunction at home. At the age of ten, my stepfather was killed in a car accident which spun my mother out of control and things began to get worse at home. She began dating multiple men that physically and mentally abused us kids for fun. I decided at the age of sixteen to get married to my boyfriend of three years. He was older, an alcoholic and he would beat me whenever he would drink. After having two beautiful children, I ended up divorcing him due to him breaking my nose and eye bone. I was in my early 20's and was a binge drinker, and to put it simply, I went onto many different relationships which consisted of more abuse, abandonment, and emotional damage which lasted many years but I learned a lot. In 2009, I lost a bunch of weight and decided to get breast implants to boost my self esteem. It wasn't long before I began to feel ill. I saw several doctors to get some answers as to what was happening to me, they had none. I was labeled as mentally ill and was accused of being a hypochondriac that needed an anti-depressant. I started to take the medication and experienced a lot of side effects that the doctors would gaslight me and was marked as normal. With my labs being off, I was referred to the University of Michigan hospital to see an infection disease specialist where they wanted to monitor and treat my symptoms. 

   Several years later, on June 22nd of 2019, I was becoming suicidal,  nonfunctional, and had to go back to the doctors. I was told the dosage was  no longer at an effective level and needed to up my dose on account of  relapsing. I was ushered into increasing my dosage to what was  recommended which then I developed Serotonin Syndrome, POTS syndrome, and akathisia. At the hospital I was pulled off the anti-depressant cold turkey and was handed a prescription for Xanax that I was too leery to fill. The doctors then gave me two choices, either this could help or make me worse. At this point, I was on the edge, this is where it all gets indescribable. I refused all help from the doctors because they were already causing my mind and body so much damage. I have worked with professionals all over the world that coached me through this process of healing. I had over 120+ symptoms during my withdrawal process and went on to protracted. I was bed bound and couch rotting for almost 2 years unable to talk, walk, and feed myself. I had a shower chair for days that I needed to shower as well as a babysitter for 3 plus years to make sure I did not hurt myself or others. I lived in 3 sets of pajamas that I would alternate to the point they fell apart. I could not leave the house for nothing and if I had to it was a complete shit show, and would end horribly. In the mist of Akathisia, I had to go under anesthetics to the get the implants out and that did not go as planned as the doctors fought to keep my heart rate down and stable. I was then sent home to heal, and that was the last time I encountered a doctor for few years as I decided that I was going to heal on my own without any medical assistance. In 2023 I had bloodwork done to see how my levels, and my copper levels were off the charts and I ended up having to get my copper IUD out. As of 2024 all my bloodwork is PREFECT! And I am healing everyday. Through out this journey I was able to obtain my Bachelor's Degree in Human Services with a concentration in substance abuse. I want to help others get to the root cause other their traumas or anything that is holding them back to becoming the best they can be. I beat the odds and I should not be here today, however there is a reason! I am almost five years off of a cold turkey and continuing to heal all the parts of me including that little girl that just wanted to be loved and wanted.